Bedtime Beliefs.

I don't really think this needs much of an explanation, but yeah I was lying down in bed... in the end I had to write it down.

Thoughts constantly running through my head as I'm lying down in bed,
I really want you to see,
your the only girl I need,
because your more amazing then I expected you to be,
your more amazing than anything I asked for,
I live for the moment you walk through my door,
when I hear your coming over I get so excited,
it feels like my whole life has just brightened,
the light could be coming from your smile, or your eyes,
each as piercing as the last, when I see them I feel right inside,
I hope you feel the same about me too,
but I really hope you know I want to be with you.

Reminising You.

I wrote this for my Grandad, he meant a lot to me he was an amazing guy who had a very hard life. In a way he was very similar to me, but he died of cancer, but I will never forget someone who was so close to my heart.

Looking up to the sky reminising moments from your life,
you were the best friend I ever had,
but am I supposed to be happy, or sad?
you could even be looking down at me now,
telling me not to worry, that your free now,
I just need a message that I know was sent from you,
and then I can stop feeling so fucking confused,
I'll love you forever, you know that I will,
but you know I've been depressed since I heard you were killed,
what happened to you we know wasn't right,
but in the end it was too big a fight,
I could have seen you the night before you died,
but I couldn't see your face after having cried,
you were too much of a man, I was too proud of you too.
but now your gone,
what am I supposed to do?

Lustful Ignorance

I tend to write a lot when I don't have much else to do, apart from school work obviously.. but lets not talk about that. It was raining outside and I just started rhyming in my head, and eventually I came out with this.

You are the sun, the moon, the stars,
the only relationship with no bars,
because these things aren't beautiful to me,
you are the one and only beauty that I see,
the fact is you came into my life so fast,
and we may not have had the best past,
but you have to see I love you so much,
because so many parts of my life you've touched,
and opening up like this isn't something I would do,
if I hadn't completely fallen for you,
I'm sitting here and it's raining outside,
thinking without you I just want to hide,
the big wide world seems so much more daunting,
and no you begins to feel so haunting,
but just one big stumble,
and a relationship like ours could crumble,
after loving you for all these years,
turns out one wrong move ends in tears,
this is something I don't want from us,
I just wish we could have had a little more trust.

Moving Places

I used to move a lot when I was younger... Africa, Saudi Arabia, England this list goes on... I wrote this when I actually sat down and thought of where the perfect place to be actually would be.

The big blue sea,
in it's entirity,
it's what we're made from,
it's where we came from,
it's where we should stilll be,
wave by wave,
in the sea comes,
never stopping,
never asking,
why it's gotta be done,
we use it to travel,
from place to place,
sometimes to leave no trace,
from grass to gravel,
from blue to grey,
you deal with what your dealt,
because hopefully soon one day,
you'll feel what I want felt,
and find the perfect place to stay.

Dream-Like Perfection

This is actually something that I also wrote in Australia, I was about to go surfing. I looked out at the ocean and the only thing I could think of was my girlfriend (at the time) her not being there was the only thing that was wrong about the picture. I actually emailed this to her as soon as I got back to the house I was staying in.

Some beautiful birds,
even more fantastic surfs,
and the nicest people ever,
and yet I'm still on the end of my teather,
but experiencing all this without you,
I suppose it's something I never wanted to do,
not having you by my side,
feels like a pain that won't subside,
and sure this is an amazing place,
but I won't feel great until I see your face,
your gorgeous long blonde hair,
your eyes so deep I can't help but stare,
your smile so bright it lights up the room,
not having you would be my version of doom,
I must be a very greedy guy,
I have the sea, the sun and blue sky,
but this is not perfection ; nowhere near,
it could only be perfect if you were here.

B Bar & Grill

I wrote this when I was chilling in Australia over the summer. I've written a whole bunch of lyrics and poems recnelty but I haven't put any on so I'm gonna do a catch up today.. The title of this poem is the cafe that I was sitting in, looking out over the ocean seeing whales spouting and stuff, it was pretty inspirational really.

Waves coming in,
waves going out,
even some water from a whales spout,
come to Australia all year round,
there is always some beauty to be found.

Blue heaven milkshakes,
burgers and chips,
surfing the ocean,
all these things I'm going to miss,
B Bar & Grill is the place to go,
even if it's hot,
even if it's cold,
it's the place that I realised,
the beauty this world holds.

Dead Inside

Where'd you go,
your missing part of your soul,
your not the same as you used to be,
I can't even look in the mirror and call you me,
what have you done to your family,
you can argue with them so easily,
you are such a state,
you've turned in to someone I hate,
you can't do this anymore,
either stop - or walk out the door,
how are you ever gonna be happy,
if your mouth is so fucking snappy,
your doing it to everyone,
you make up the excuse your young,
no-one I know is as bad as you,
and your bringing them down to your level too,
I have to get away from it all,
before I make everyone fall,
I'm sorry I didn't mean to do this,
I've destroyed all my relationships.

Bugging Out

This is something I wrote because one of my mates was taking drugs at a few parties I went too and after all this happened he started buying quite a lot of weed, one year down the line and he has been shoting cannabis for 3 months and he is addicted to heroine.

My life was so good,
back when no-one was hooked,
now they are all on drugs,
walking round like fucking thugs,
they say they can see the light,
and that their giving up the fight,
the next night they'll do it again,
they will never learn,
not until one of them is in an urn,
sometimes even then it's too hard,
living life without that presence,
surely it can't be too umpleasant,
you used to do it a little bit,
but now you can't control it.

Depressive Relations

I have been doused in depression,
most of it gets turned to aggresion,
the moment we met,
has turned into a day I dread,
and yeah, we were great,
but it's getting far too late,
what can we do,
all I can say is : it's up to you,
they say it's fate,
they say you'll find your soulmate,
but what if it happens too late,
it turns out she's eloped,
to another fucking dope,
do you still hope?
You should truly feel gutted,
just carry on calling her 'butters',
we all know your lying,
and deep down inside your crying.

Mis-Understanding

This was the outcome of the first argument I had with my ex, it is not very long but it does still have a lot of meaning.

It could have been great,
it could have been fine,
I thought it was fate,
you just didn't understand at the time,
but now it's different,
I'm ok,
I'm ready to get back out into the day,
starting the search for the one,
the one I know is going to come.

Doubtful Realness

There was a poetry competition for oxfordshire county and the 1st place prize was £3000, I didn't unter my poem but I did write it, the title for the poetry competition was doubt....

The obstruction to the minds passages,
the way you are the same to no-one,
who is the person that knows it all?
Is it true he created this monstrous ball?
Did God create, exploit, then destroy?

Uncertainty is a nessecity; it makes the ball spin,
all you have to do is look at Christianity,
just another religion made to bring us together,
it's not a lie, God could be out there,
but the lies in his story are hardly fair.

Faith is a big one; some stories are fun,
other peoples takes - contain complete destruction,
wouldn't you like to meet those who wrote it down,
see through their eyes, know what is happening,
you could look back at their work with a frown.

Some of the history what wasn't written about,
that's the information I'd love to know,
the lies told about those who's histories glow,
nobody is perfect; everyone has a few flaws,
perfect is a word for those idealistic bores.

The question to think about is will it last?
Or will we carry on repeating the past,
is the earth on the brink of death,
if we carry on the same; but friends,
the world could start a-new all over again.

Stopping Trends and Making a Mend

I was looking through the internet trying to see how you could be a well known lyricist but I really have no idea what to do, there was a song writer sight and it listed all the people who it had helped and so I thought I would write a song about it all...

All I want to do is leave,
the idea of the unknown appeals to me,
it's my mind - the thing I want to retrieve,
the old me will come back, the one I want to be.

50 Cent, 98 Degrees, Out of Eden?
Bin all of them,
mate now I'm here,
and I'm not doing it while sipping on a beer.

I don't need to lie,
they got "guns and drugs"
I don't need all that to get by,
all they are, are little bugs,
in my way, I have to crush,
just so I have a chance to brush,
the paths of those who I need to be seen,
it's then up to them, they may be keen,
if not I guess I should start it all again,
go all the way back to what I stopped doing at 10.

Feelgood Field

Yeah.. I was sitting in a field right after talking to the deputy head and I thought to myself I could write a song.. It was pretty chilled.. It was warm and I was just lying out on the grass with a football game happening like 60 odd metres away from me, I don't really know why I wrote that, but oh well...

I wasn't suspended - that's a good thing,
but they did give me a formal warning,
now my parents are calling... REJECT CALL,
I can't stand seeing them at all anymore,
so now I'm on my own in a field,
no guns or knives; a pencil is what I wield,
I wonder what everyone thinks,
all of my closest link,
there all watching me go downhill,
a slippery slope all the way down to a minefield,
I'm pretty sure some people want me there,
they want me out just so I'm out of their hair.
He says he's fought for me to stay,
but he can't anymore because I never obey,
I don't try to be bad it just comes to me,
I feel like it's all in my destiny.

Holiday Suspension

I was close to being suspended because of a minor mistake, sure I haven't been working as hard as I should but currently I can't work to my full potential, and as it was coming up to the talk with the deputy headmaster I wrote this...

Whats the point in all of this,
me in this room with this fucking bitch,
she doesn't give a shit anymore,
so why should I abide by the law?

She says she will tell my parents,
how's that going to make a difference,
it will just start up another row,
I don't have it in me to fight back now.

I may just go, easter is my chance,
a time I can go, start a-new, drink and dance,
but doing all of that on your own,
surely you will start to feel very alone.

It's something I feel I have to do,
if I ever want to be able to start a-new,
everyone thinks I'm going out to get monged,
I'm not at all I just want to write songs.

Next Step Up

This is just about some stuff going on...

Don't you hate it when your just friends,
with the girl... the girl of your dreams.
I tell you now the feeling really sucks,
you think about how your just in a big rutt,
I love being close to you I really do,
but the truth is I want to be with you too,
we are great friends, that's the truth,
but the though of you with someone uncouth,
that hurts quite a lot,
but my decision it is not,
maybe you feel the same way,
but our friendship will have to stay,
otherwise it is you I will never see,
and with you is the place I want to be,
you always take the piss for me being dappy,
all it really is, is I want you to be happy.

Grandad's Kids

This is when I was doing everything wrong and someone came to me and said they don't really ever get out much and they don't see the point in going out and getting drunk and they said they would never do it... I said to them it's not about going out it's the social aspect.

Some people do it all right,
they are trying to be the best,
living life without a fight,
but when you get there whats next?

Your missing out on the fun,
never got pissed what you on about?
Sure we may act pretty dumb,
but mate were only acting young.

When we get older we will change,
but right now live life to the full,
lets go out on the binge,
fuck it all up, look a fool.

I'm having fun Ive got my mates,
what do you have? Work?
well I guess that's your mistake,
mate lets go get baked....

Final Stumble

This was written when a lot was going wrong in my life and I just felt like I didn't have the energy to put up with it all.

The time we spend together,
it's better than anything I get,
but I want to be with you through every endevour,
your the greatest person I've ever met,
and you've helped me with so much,
but now it's coming to an end,
and it is already very tough,
I am turning round the last bend,
this final part will be rough,
I have started to stumble.
everyone watching in glee and agony,
as I tumble.
No energy to get back up,
so I will stay down,
carry on looking like a chump,
go ahead keep looking at me with a frown,
its only me thats looking down.

Take All You Can

This is about friends who say they are friends but it turns out that there are actually reasons that they befriended you, one of these friends was being vindictive, the other just being stupid, and so he was the only one I forgave.

Summer was the best time ever,
a time we didn't reach our teather,
I spent the time with friends,
and I started out a new trend,
I met a girl and fell for her,
I didn't realise it was a big lure,
a trap I fell into,
a trap that lost me two,
after a break up you normally lose one,
but one was not enough for you,
you had to take another; unfortunatly he is dumb,
he doesn't realise what he's done,
but soon it will hit him,
he will have a party and no-one will come,
and then you will be in the bin,
because you did it again,
so then you won't have any friends.

Futuristic History

I was thinking about the past and how there were never any problems and then I started to think about the future and then all the problems that there could be. Then I felt like I haven't really been me.

I'm looking through a window,
through all of time,
I see my wife as a widow,
through someone elses crime.

Then I see myself as a child,
my family in a pool in Gabon,
it seems like our temperment in mild,
the arguments haven't begun.

It's weird how it can change,
just like that,
but now its all turned strange,
and I miss the old matt.

The light is never there anymore,
the light I always used to have,
and now I don't have it,
I feel poor.

Ready to go Steady?

This is a song saying how love is such an odd thing and can be misconstructed because of different peoples ideas.

They say love is blind,
wouldn't that make it impossible to find?
Something your just meant to stumple,
but if its not right your heart will crumble.
Some people I know.. they suit love,
because they can never get enough,
other I know don't suit it at all,
and so always go through a big fall,
I personally don't think I'm ready,
I can never really go steady,
I like being single,
but when I meet a girl I want that tingle,
the one you get when you know it's right,
when you feel "I want to be with them all night",
I have never been in that state,
but I'm sure they call it fate.