Bugging Out

This is something I wrote because one of my mates was taking drugs at a few parties I went too and after all this happened he started buying quite a lot of weed, one year down the line and he has been shoting cannabis for 3 months and he is addicted to heroine.

My life was so good,
back when no-one was hooked,
now they are all on drugs,
walking round like fucking thugs,
they say they can see the light,
and that their giving up the fight,
the next night they'll do it again,
they will never learn,
not until one of them is in an urn,
sometimes even then it's too hard,
living life without that presence,
surely it can't be too umpleasant,
you used to do it a little bit,
but now you can't control it.

Depressive Relations

I have been doused in depression,
most of it gets turned to aggresion,
the moment we met,
has turned into a day I dread,
and yeah, we were great,
but it's getting far too late,
what can we do,
all I can say is : it's up to you,
they say it's fate,
they say you'll find your soulmate,
but what if it happens too late,
it turns out she's eloped,
to another fucking dope,
do you still hope?
You should truly feel gutted,
just carry on calling her 'butters',
we all know your lying,
and deep down inside your crying.

Mis-Understanding

This was the outcome of the first argument I had with my ex, it is not very long but it does still have a lot of meaning.

It could have been great,
it could have been fine,
I thought it was fate,
you just didn't understand at the time,
but now it's different,
I'm ok,
I'm ready to get back out into the day,
starting the search for the one,
the one I know is going to come.

Doubtful Realness

There was a poetry competition for oxfordshire county and the 1st place prize was £3000, I didn't unter my poem but I did write it, the title for the poetry competition was doubt....

The obstruction to the minds passages,
the way you are the same to no-one,
who is the person that knows it all?
Is it true he created this monstrous ball?
Did God create, exploit, then destroy?

Uncertainty is a nessecity; it makes the ball spin,
all you have to do is look at Christianity,
just another religion made to bring us together,
it's not a lie, God could be out there,
but the lies in his story are hardly fair.

Faith is a big one; some stories are fun,
other peoples takes - contain complete destruction,
wouldn't you like to meet those who wrote it down,
see through their eyes, know what is happening,
you could look back at their work with a frown.

Some of the history what wasn't written about,
that's the information I'd love to know,
the lies told about those who's histories glow,
nobody is perfect; everyone has a few flaws,
perfect is a word for those idealistic bores.

The question to think about is will it last?
Or will we carry on repeating the past,
is the earth on the brink of death,
if we carry on the same; but friends,
the world could start a-new all over again.

Stopping Trends and Making a Mend

I was looking through the internet trying to see how you could be a well known lyricist but I really have no idea what to do, there was a song writer sight and it listed all the people who it had helped and so I thought I would write a song about it all...

All I want to do is leave,
the idea of the unknown appeals to me,
it's my mind - the thing I want to retrieve,
the old me will come back, the one I want to be.

50 Cent, 98 Degrees, Out of Eden?
Bin all of them,
mate now I'm here,
and I'm not doing it while sipping on a beer.

I don't need to lie,
they got "guns and drugs"
I don't need all that to get by,
all they are, are little bugs,
in my way, I have to crush,
just so I have a chance to brush,
the paths of those who I need to be seen,
it's then up to them, they may be keen,
if not I guess I should start it all again,
go all the way back to what I stopped doing at 10.

Feelgood Field

Yeah.. I was sitting in a field right after talking to the deputy head and I thought to myself I could write a song.. It was pretty chilled.. It was warm and I was just lying out on the grass with a football game happening like 60 odd metres away from me, I don't really know why I wrote that, but oh well...

I wasn't suspended - that's a good thing,
but they did give me a formal warning,
now my parents are calling... REJECT CALL,
I can't stand seeing them at all anymore,
so now I'm on my own in a field,
no guns or knives; a pencil is what I wield,
I wonder what everyone thinks,
all of my closest link,
there all watching me go downhill,
a slippery slope all the way down to a minefield,
I'm pretty sure some people want me there,
they want me out just so I'm out of their hair.
He says he's fought for me to stay,
but he can't anymore because I never obey,
I don't try to be bad it just comes to me,
I feel like it's all in my destiny.

Holiday Suspension

I was close to being suspended because of a minor mistake, sure I haven't been working as hard as I should but currently I can't work to my full potential, and as it was coming up to the talk with the deputy headmaster I wrote this...

Whats the point in all of this,
me in this room with this fucking bitch,
she doesn't give a shit anymore,
so why should I abide by the law?

She says she will tell my parents,
how's that going to make a difference,
it will just start up another row,
I don't have it in me to fight back now.

I may just go, easter is my chance,
a time I can go, start a-new, drink and dance,
but doing all of that on your own,
surely you will start to feel very alone.

It's something I feel I have to do,
if I ever want to be able to start a-new,
everyone thinks I'm going out to get monged,
I'm not at all I just want to write songs.

Next Step Up

This is just about some stuff going on...

Don't you hate it when your just friends,
with the girl... the girl of your dreams.
I tell you now the feeling really sucks,
you think about how your just in a big rutt,
I love being close to you I really do,
but the truth is I want to be with you too,
we are great friends, that's the truth,
but the though of you with someone uncouth,
that hurts quite a lot,
but my decision it is not,
maybe you feel the same way,
but our friendship will have to stay,
otherwise it is you I will never see,
and with you is the place I want to be,
you always take the piss for me being dappy,
all it really is, is I want you to be happy.

Grandad's Kids

This is when I was doing everything wrong and someone came to me and said they don't really ever get out much and they don't see the point in going out and getting drunk and they said they would never do it... I said to them it's not about going out it's the social aspect.

Some people do it all right,
they are trying to be the best,
living life without a fight,
but when you get there whats next?

Your missing out on the fun,
never got pissed what you on about?
Sure we may act pretty dumb,
but mate were only acting young.

When we get older we will change,
but right now live life to the full,
lets go out on the binge,
fuck it all up, look a fool.

I'm having fun Ive got my mates,
what do you have? Work?
well I guess that's your mistake,
mate lets go get baked....

Final Stumble

This was written when a lot was going wrong in my life and I just felt like I didn't have the energy to put up with it all.

The time we spend together,
it's better than anything I get,
but I want to be with you through every endevour,
your the greatest person I've ever met,
and you've helped me with so much,
but now it's coming to an end,
and it is already very tough,
I am turning round the last bend,
this final part will be rough,
I have started to stumble.
everyone watching in glee and agony,
as I tumble.
No energy to get back up,
so I will stay down,
carry on looking like a chump,
go ahead keep looking at me with a frown,
its only me thats looking down.

Take All You Can

This is about friends who say they are friends but it turns out that there are actually reasons that they befriended you, one of these friends was being vindictive, the other just being stupid, and so he was the only one I forgave.

Summer was the best time ever,
a time we didn't reach our teather,
I spent the time with friends,
and I started out a new trend,
I met a girl and fell for her,
I didn't realise it was a big lure,
a trap I fell into,
a trap that lost me two,
after a break up you normally lose one,
but one was not enough for you,
you had to take another; unfortunatly he is dumb,
he doesn't realise what he's done,
but soon it will hit him,
he will have a party and no-one will come,
and then you will be in the bin,
because you did it again,
so then you won't have any friends.

Futuristic History

I was thinking about the past and how there were never any problems and then I started to think about the future and then all the problems that there could be. Then I felt like I haven't really been me.

I'm looking through a window,
through all of time,
I see my wife as a widow,
through someone elses crime.

Then I see myself as a child,
my family in a pool in Gabon,
it seems like our temperment in mild,
the arguments haven't begun.

It's weird how it can change,
just like that,
but now its all turned strange,
and I miss the old matt.

The light is never there anymore,
the light I always used to have,
and now I don't have it,
I feel poor.

Ready to go Steady?

This is a song saying how love is such an odd thing and can be misconstructed because of different peoples ideas.

They say love is blind,
wouldn't that make it impossible to find?
Something your just meant to stumple,
but if its not right your heart will crumble.
Some people I know.. they suit love,
because they can never get enough,
other I know don't suit it at all,
and so always go through a big fall,
I personally don't think I'm ready,
I can never really go steady,
I like being single,
but when I meet a girl I want that tingle,
the one you get when you know it's right,
when you feel "I want to be with them all night",
I have never been in that state,
but I'm sure they call it fate.

Natural Bliss

I was reading through some of Robert Frost's poetry and some of the imagery that I thought of was quite amazing so I thought I would write a poem about nature as a whole..

Nature is a funny thing,
for some time it can die,
and just pop back in spring,
but every year was must say bye,
the cycle carries on going,
it will never stop,
the trees will never stop growing,
well.. until they get chopped.

The sun is always moving round,
but it never changes pace,
each season can always be found,
different year, same time, same place,
in my mind seasons create an oasis,
a place you can bathe alone,
a place known only as bliss.

Forever Friends

This is to a girl that has recently gone through a break up and I just want her to know that we will always be friends and I wrote it really just to cheer her up, it got a smile out of her so I'm happy...

Your such a great girl,
you don't deserve what happened,
the thought of you said makes me hurl,
your mind right now seems so dampened,
don't be too sad,
I know it's tough,
it is bad,
what your going through is rough,
but its ok,
you've got me now,
your ready to get back out in to the day,
just try not to worry,
try and stay happy,
and maybe if your lucky,
I will stay as your lappy,
forever at your side,
through thick and thin,
through any kick in the chin,
but from now on don't worry,
I won't be leaving you in a hurry.

The Quick Life

This is something I wrote quite quickly when I was just thinking what the point of us living is...

Is that really all,
we start up,
you build us tall,
setting us up,
for a big fall,
life is like that,
it's not important,
after the fall your life goes 'splat',
then it's on to enrolement,
time to get a job,
time to get fat,
maybe even problems with you back,
soon you get children,
you gotta protect 'em,
they grow up,
you grow down,
seems like your always getting closer to the ground.

Friendship Fucker

This is after one of my 'best friends' went off the day that me and my ex-girlfriend broke up and he started texting and calling her.. It turns out our friendship was just so I would tell him whenever me and my ex argued so he knew that we were going to break up soon and after we did he completlely abandoned me as a friend, and now he is not very popular around the school and it seems like he doesn't even care that he has lost two best friends. It has a very blunt ending.

It's so easy to lie,
but if you do it to me,
all I will say is goodbye,
to you I have had to plea,
all lying leads to is crimes,
if you are good at it go ahead,
but it's our friendship that's dead,
honesty is the best policy,
that's how the rhyme goes,
but now i've lost toleracy,
and you are the one that chose,
but now say goodbye to me,
you told me a lie and it was poor,
so we aren't friends anymore.

Mysterious History

I was thinking about a lot of the history, and contemplating how much of a difference it would make if we actually knew exactly what had happened, would the world be a much more bitter place or was it the right thing that it was concealed from us? As the blog moves on you will see that I do end up writing about history a lot because I regard it as the next most interesting thing in my life... after all my problems. So I wrote this:

Who's here to remember,
every day, every year,
history is a thing of the past,
but is regarded as the present,
some things will always last,
especially those things people resent,
some things really shouldn't be regarded,
others, peoples courage really should,
some are very obviously planted,
others really are not,
they come from the top,
history really is a pack of lies,
there really aren't many you can rely,
so say goodbye to history,
whats past has past,
and will forever be a mystery.

Learning Lessons

Recently I had been with a girl and I have to say I did completely fall for her, she was and still is a great girl but I realised that you can't just fall for the first girl that shows you a bit of attention. By the way the title of each post is the title of the song at the same time... Well here's it is:

I fell so in love,
rookie mistake won't happen again,
while it was there the clouds I was above,
loving you was a complete bargain,
I learnt a lot while I was with you,
you may be hot, witty and mature,
but girls they gotta love you back too,
otherwise you relationship is like an abitour,
water goes in and doesn't come out,
its hard to say this but you never loved me,
you were too self involved, there was too much doubt,
constantly thinking of who your going to be,
living for the future, never for now,
you got me good; i'll give you that,
here's the applause why not take a bow,
i'm the only one looking like a complete twat,
it's so hard now, i've started doubting my mates,
hinking texting you is a crime,
one i don't want on my mind,
i just want to meet a girl and call it fate,
but it seems like I won't because i'm such a fucking state.

Power Hungry

This is one of my 'more recent' things, its more of a poem than anything and it's just how I feel about certain previous 'powerful people' for example world leaders..

Some things are such mysteries,
so many people looking into them,
all you have to do is look at history,
all these burn outs, all these ancient men,
how did they know what was best,
how come they got all the power,
were they thinking about themselves, or the rest?
Because of them so many are sour,
the world will never be at peace,
people like anger, people love war,
I promise you now the guns won't cease,
it stops people from considering their lives as bores,
no-one gets war is something to unite over,
without war whats the point in having allies,
without war I couldn't call a frenchy brother.
All these deaths, all these pointless battles,
they all lead to one thing,
and thats complete obliteration.

First Time

Hi all this is my first time ever doing a blog out of free choice, my first ever one was for my media coursework and that was as dull as it gets but I started to think that it's probably only dull because its the work I'm doing in school currently.
Well I'm Matt and I write a lot of different stuffs, I can write songs and I do write quite a few poems too.. Most of the things I write about are my feelings are what is going on with me at the current time. I have got a lot of stuff to put on here but I will only put the stuff that I feel comfortable putting on at the current time... I guess I will just tell you that currently I am 16, I go to Shiplake College, if you like my songs, poems or lyrics leave a comment or email me, my email is M.a.rayburn@gmail.com.... Enjoy :)

Well this is the first ever one that I wrote down:

Stupid, stupid, stupid girl,
you could have had all this,
you could have had my world,
but instead you ran off with your new found joy,
and now he's your favourite toy,
another one of your puppets you pull with your strings,
another one of your little popularity thing,
you tassle and you toil, bitch and meedle,
you've got the acceleration,
and boys are your peddle.